Travelling and anxiety

I'm going to visit my hometown today.
Catch up with a few old friends, family, stay with dad and so on.
And visit my mum in the home.

So I am wound up to the point of screaming because I'm going to see a 65 year old woman who looked after me for 20 years and now can't dress herself, remember her name, and doesn't really know who I am.

Once I've done it I'll be OK, but this is the shitty bit. I think I shouldn't have taken a weeks holiday before going up as I've had a week to sit and think about it. Hindsight is always 20:20 though.