If it wasn't for the bad luck...

My opposite number limped into work last night. My heart sank.
When I woke up there was a message that he had limped out of work at 2am. His doctor has told him that his knee is in serious trouble. He's off of at least 2 weeks.

I've worked over 70 hours so far, and I know that the boss is going to rota us in to cover all the shifts. 3 people, 24/7 working, 60 hour weeks... And who knows when it will end.

I'm so tired, and so, so, so down I can't explain it. A combination of uncertainty, tiredness and the prospect of long hours has killed the green shoots of recovery that were starting in my psyche. So much so that... I wished I was dead this morning. I wanted to leave my life behind, to either die, or just become another person and vanish from this world that I can't seem to function in any more.
Now... I'm still here, by the way... I want it to stop. I want to stop feeling this bad all the time. I want the money worries, the sexual problems, the relationship issues to just go away.
But I know they wont. And I know I'm too much of a coward to do anything drastic, be that either self harming or just decisive, radical and seismic.

The title of this post is from an old blues song. "If it wasn't for the bad luck, I wouldn't have no luck at all..."