Birthday thoughts from The Future.

Just before my birthday I opened the door to the knock of a woman from Parcelforce.
She handed me some letters and a package. I thanked her and retreated to the kitchen table to open the package.
I was expecting some CD's as a friend had asked Wifey what I'd like and I'd given a list of a few classic albums I'd like and was told to "expect a package". But this box, of about 30cm on each edge wasn't something you'd pack 2 CD's into... "Curiouser and Curiouser", said Alice.
"Get out of my house, Alice, I've told you before you're not to break in, it's illegal!"

Crap jokes over with I opened the box and found exactly what I didn't expect.
A Kilo of pick and mix.
A Kilo.
A KILO!
What the...? A Quid's worth I could have coped with, and would have been really nice. But a Kilo?
The slip of paper has the money paid on it (V Poor Internet shipping place!) and... its about £15 of sweets. How many foam shrimps can I eat? Not that many, tasty as they are... And there are only so many "Love Hearts"a man in his 40s can consume without vomiting... And trust me - the amount in the box is way past the vom-line.

I'm still pink-candy-shell-shocked.