Saturday 19 September 2009

I wish I was as funny as he is...



I found this guys blog, for which I owe thanks to LBJ. Thanks LB...

There's a post about anti-depressants from a few days back. He lists some of the side-effects of Prozac and ponders why "Sexual problems" is so vaguely disconcerting.
Well - as a one time user I can tell him all about them.

It wasn't so much a problem as a complete lack of interest. Not even a twitch.

Not even when the person I have had a long term passion for (and I mean REALLY long term, decades) was telling me exactly what she was wearing (very little and very sexy) and what she and her soon to be absent for a long spell of travelling boyfriend were going to be doing for the next few hours... The sort of conversation she loves because she loves to tease me and leave me flustered (to say the least) and the sort of conversation I love because I still love her despite the fact that she does those sort of things.
I'd hate her if I didn't love her.

But, to return from the land of Overshare, that absence was the oddest feeling for me... as I was deprived, I don't know if that really is the word I'm looking for, of one of my prime motivations in life. Sex and sexuality had been a never ending
theme until that point in my life. It has been the cause of most of the joy and a lot of the agony in my life and to find it gone one day was something that I still don't know how to deal with.
There are times,even now years after taking Zac, that my "sex drive" vanishes for a few days, even a few weeks, and then returns with a vengeance. At those times I am not sure that I am "me". Is that what defines me to me? If so, what happens if it vanishes for good as I get older? Or I lose the rest of my mind to dementia and that is all that remains? Am I still me?

And so to... London, I think. Or maybe Tokyo would be a better idea...

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